How many flies in a box of Foxy Celery?
Dear Foxy Representative,
I am not one to write an angry letter to a business or company, but this incident really demanded that something be said.
My family was suffering from a cold, so I thought that the perfect remedy was some homemade chicken soup with wholesome organic ingredients. I went to my local Kroger and gathered up the chicken, carrots, herbs, spinach, and of course your Foxy Organic celery hearts.
I began preparing everything and took my Foxy celery hearts out of the bag and pulled apart the first two stalks. To my horror, there was a mangled dead fly sandwiched in between the stalks, his wings scattered between the leaves and the lower stalk. He looked like Picasso’s rendition of a dead fly: ugly and not delicious. Most certainly, he did not look Foxy.
I continued to pull apart the stalks and then to my complete disgust, I happened upon another expired fly. Mangled and squashed like his compadre, his deceased body had discolored the celery stalk where his body was entombed a dark purple. Thinking that this had to be the worst of the carnage but frankly curious at this point, I continued to separate stalks and found what looked to be rat dropping between two other stalks. Now, in all fairness, I have no idea how a rat would have wedged himself into that tight of a space to make a deposit, but there it was: 5 rounded brown pellets discoloring the stalks. I peered closely thinking it was worms or perhaps a cluster of flies, but it really looked like rodent leavings.
This was way more “organic” than I had hoped for with my celery purchase and more surprises than a Cracker Jack Box. I was not thrilled with the multitude of dead bodies and alleged excrement in my celery, nor at all thrilled with the freshness extolled by the Foxy Company. This was not my idea of fresh and healthy and I was more than a bit nauseated.
Sincerely,
Kara O’Brien
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Dear Kara,
First let me thank you for taking the time to email us regarding your recent experience. Secondly, I have to compliment you on your colorful and engaging account of what happened. We certainly feel bad that you were so horrified by the experience and would be happy to reimburse you.
I imagine this is what Foxy Susan looks like
With that said I would like to offer a few brief explanations of “the event”. We harvest and pack all of our produce directly in the field and do not wash it prior to packing. We apply organically approved insecticides to the crop so there are “casualties” that do fall into the product. As for
the purported “droppings” my experience is that this was simply very small pieces of mud. Celery is a very wet crop and the soil does get into the tiniest of places. Over time it develops into little balls from the individual stalks moving back and forth.
I hope this has served to alleviate some of your concerns about the freshness and healthfulness of our products. Please reply with your mailing address and we’ll get a reimbursement to you right away.
Susan Canales
The Nunes Co., Inc.
Foxy Produce
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Dear Foxy Representative Susan (Sorry I couldn’t help it),
Thank you for your letter explaining the sundry bodies and round pellets lurking in the stalks of my Foxy celery. And I’m glad that you enjoyed my missive–it seemed unkind to complain about a product without painting a vivid picture of both my findings and the visceral reaction I had to the discovery of the veritable “fly in the ointment”…or in this case, the celery.
I was relieved to hear that there are not contortionist rodents on your farm, cramming their small furry bottoms into the celery. I believe your explanation, as I did not see any fur or hairs. It’s a curious thing that dirt rolls up like that in small crevices, but I’ll take your word for it as celery is the one crop that I have not tried to grow in my front yard.
I do now feel more comfortable about the freshness aspect of the product. I suppose you are not a “Fly by Night” company, although I have yet to read any studies that state that organically approved and sprayed dead flies are found to be healthful.
That might be a tough sell.
Of course, a black widow spider or a large roach would have been worse.
Thank you for reimbursing me. I have attached my address below:
Flying onward and upward,
Kara O’Brien
Has anyone else been inspired to write an angry letter of complaint? Tell me in the comments below!
